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Aug. 1st, 2007 03:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lllookaliveI can't even think. I haven't been this panicked since... I dunno. I am not happy.
I think most of this is PMS moodswingyness, because I know how irrational I sound lately, so like... don't actually worry about me, okay? Tell me to shut up, if anything. Mostly I'm just having meltdown after meltdown due mostly to the fact that I have a metric crapton of work right now, and it hasn't been like that in two quarters, so I'm spoiled. Hardcore. Deep down in my brain, though, I like it and I know it's good because it's getting me geared up to be out of here, but... AGH.
Last night, after one meltdown too many over one subject, I decided to scrap my entire senior project idea. That's right, folks, I AM NO LONGER PENCILLING. ANYTHING. For now. I know this isn't the end of my pencilling ever. But it is for school. Senior project is supposed to be a big, fancy showcase, aka the "gem" of our portfolio, as 'Sleeve says. Soooo... why the fuck was I trying to pencil for that? Uhhh, no. Long story short, I decided at last that it was generally feeling unhealthy to sustain that level of loathing for something I create.
So now I have to ink 16-18 pages by the end of the quarter which is precisely three and a half weeks away.
I can do it.
I had better do it.
This is on top of ten pages I have to flat by August 8, which my prof Julie who was holding them for me conviniently forgot to give me today. Again. So that's fabulous. I really wanted to get those done this weekend if I could. Oh well. I still have the giant digital painting assignment she gave us today due Monday that will keep me more than stressed.
And then there's the Gov exam tomorrow. I'm not terribly worried about that, though. I already made my study guide and I got a 97 on the last paper. Surprise.
So... in short, this quarter is finally beginning to feel like school again.
IT ONLY TOOK SEVEN WEEKS.
I still wanna go hide, though.
I think most of this is PMS moodswingyness, because I know how irrational I sound lately, so like... don't actually worry about me, okay? Tell me to shut up, if anything. Mostly I'm just having meltdown after meltdown due mostly to the fact that I have a metric crapton of work right now, and it hasn't been like that in two quarters, so I'm spoiled. Hardcore. Deep down in my brain, though, I like it and I know it's good because it's getting me geared up to be out of here, but... AGH.
Last night, after one meltdown too many over one subject, I decided to scrap my entire senior project idea. That's right, folks, I AM NO LONGER PENCILLING. ANYTHING. For now. I know this isn't the end of my pencilling ever. But it is for school. Senior project is supposed to be a big, fancy showcase, aka the "gem" of our portfolio, as 'Sleeve says. Soooo... why the fuck was I trying to pencil for that? Uhhh, no. Long story short, I decided at last that it was generally feeling unhealthy to sustain that level of loathing for something I create.
So now I have to ink 16-18 pages by the end of the quarter which is precisely three and a half weeks away.
I can do it.
I had better do it.
This is on top of ten pages I have to flat by August 8, which my prof Julie who was holding them for me conviniently forgot to give me today. Again. So that's fabulous. I really wanted to get those done this weekend if I could. Oh well. I still have the giant digital painting assignment she gave us today due Monday that will keep me more than stressed.
And then there's the Gov exam tomorrow. I'm not terribly worried about that, though. I already made my study guide and I got a 97 on the last paper. Surprise.
So... in short, this quarter is finally beginning to feel like school again.
IT ONLY TOOK SEVEN WEEKS.
I still wanna go hide, though.
