This was passed through a friend of a friend. Keep an open mind, you conservatives.

[lllookalive]

10 Reasons Why Gays Should Not Be Allowed To Marry

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eye glasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour "just-for-fun" marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Comments

[maiahaha.livejournal.com]

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

HA HA, IF ONLY THIS WAS TRUE. XD

[boko.livejournal.com]

hehehehe

straight forward and witty. The perfect way to start the day ^^-b (thumbs up!)

[nekomoogle.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I may steal it from you and post it on my lj.

[amaranthtiger.livejournal.com]

Rug munchers and chocolate thieves need to stop being gay in America and come to Canada already. I swear, it's legal up here, they just do it for attention down there.

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

OMG dont you wish that was true?!

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

Totally. I stole it myself. I mean, commandeered. Yah.

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

Canada has nicer locations for nice marriage ceremonies, anyway. Could be a good excuse to come visit you sometime, haha. Also, I like how they say we do it for attention when most of us dont care... They give us the attention without being asked. How rude. *haughty sniff* Hmph!

[evilpsychojoe.livejournal.com]

That was so friggin' awesome. And I've totally used the majority of those arguments before when arguing it, which makes it even cooler. yay!

[amaranthtiger.livejournal.com]

Well, in the eternal words of the governator:

"A gay marriage is best left to a man and a woman."

Zing!

But anyways...

I just wish I'd hear some good "straight people" zingers(besides women not wanting to have sex with guys), not "people are fucking idiots" like this list. Just by the way, since when were you a full fledged lesbian?

Also, when's the last time you heard a joke involving a rabbi and a priest(think about it!)....

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

I'm not a lesbian. I'm bi. As usual. I just count half as enough. Bah! But damned if every time I try to date girls and need a break from guys, I end up with more men than a hot stripper? I have two boyfriends right now. TWO!! I dont even know what to do with one. *sniffle* I just wanted to date girls!

[amaranthtiger.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor baby.

Just introduce them to each other, boom, problem solved.

[amaranthtiger.livejournal.com]

Oh, and have one wear a wig.

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

haha, hey, I'm not really complaining. Its an exercise in coordination! *nodnod* And I they've already been introduced... Ironically, for the first time in my dating career, I think they're both genuinely strait.